Who ever said moving was exciting and positive and full of adventure? Oh, wait that was me and I also wrote a book about it, CRAP!! I think I need to change it. I need to write the adult version and call it The Great Big Move: A really hard, frustrating, sad, feel like you are crazy and on a roller coaster with no track, surprisingly exciting adventure.
A move or a change is kind of exciting in the beginning, thinking about a “fresh start”, getting to set up a new home, explore new surroundings. Then the time comes to leave and you have to start saying your goodbyes. One after the other, each one gets harder because every goodbye is one step closer to actually leaving. At some point you feel like you’ve cried all the tears you can cry and you just want to get out so you don’t have to say goodbye anymore but at the same time you want to try to stay as long as you can because you aren’t ready to leave.
You get to your new place, excitement comes back because the kids are having a blast running around a house that has no furniture, you get to find new places for all of your things and think ‘now this time I’m going to put everything away super organized and not keep anything I won’t use.’ You then get to the 800th box of the unpacking day, look in it and realize you packed old drawings from your kids, a pair of shoes you never wear and cooking utensils you kept out at your old house to use so you didn’t have to keep spending money on eating out. This was one of the last boxes you packed and said screw it and threw all of the left overs in, put some packing paper on top, taped it up and labeled MISC. Your dreams of starting your new life off organized have now gone out the window and instead your mindset goes to-I’m sick of looking at boxes and throw them all behind closed doors.
Your kids are set to go to their new school. You’ve shopped for new clothes, new shoes, the shiniest sequined bag pack and lunch box you can find. You’ve let them pick out colorful notebooks and fancy pencils that you have over-labeled yet under labeled because you don’t know how the new school stores supplies. You don’t want to look like the crazy new mom with a new Cricut machine that makes fancy labels for everything or like the unprepared mom that didn’t do anything. You want your kid to be as prepared and comfortable as possible.
This is when you realize you are the new kid too.
The days get easier yet harder. The kids are excited one day to go to their new school and meet new people, then sad the next because they miss their old school and their old friends and can’t understand why they had to leave. You start questioning every decision you have ever made then have to stop and really remember the reasons for why you made this big change to bring you back down to the ground.
Even though you feel the exact same way as the kids, you are the rock and have to smooth everything out for them and talk them through it. It’s a blessing and a curse-you really just want to curl up in a ball and cry with them but talking them through it can actually be therapeutic for you and make everyone feel better in the end-not all the time but most times.
I find myself saying all the time just because things are different doesn’t mean they are bad it just means they are different. Half believing myself, half not believing myself at all. Change is tough, so tough and so indefinite. Staying positive through it and not looking back is easier said than done. You have to believe there is a reason for everything and that this path you are on is leading you to something great, otherwise you wouldn’t have been put on it. Cling to the little things that are going right to try to cancel out all of the things that feel like they are going wrong. Cry if you need to but also be happy if you need to. Being happy in your new place or situation won’t make you forget about what you don’t have any more but just add to it. In my book I call these treasures-its corny for adults to think that way, I know, but I also don't care, sometimes thinking like a kid is just easier.
Isn’t every experience you have a treasure in some way? Whether it be a lesson or a different outlook that comes from it. Sometimes it takes a long time for these treasures to actually become treasures because in the moment they can look like dirty little rocks in a box labeled MISC. But as time goes on you may realize you had a diamond in the rough that just wasn’t completely grown yet and you couldn't find the right place for it. If you are in the midst of a great big move or just a great big change, I hope you are able to do these things. Everyday really is a new beginning and one step closer to understanding the reasons for your changes, but try not to keep waiting, enjoy the moment you are in knowing one day you will look back and realize it was a treasure in the making.